Teacher, parent, student and misbehavior

Teacher, parent, student and misbehavior

Some professionals working with kids claim the most challenging part of their job is not dealing with kids but with their parents. This is partly true for sure, but today I'd like to share different experience.

Firstly I need to write about my group. In November there were five third graders, three boys and two girls. All of them are full of energy, ideas and with plenty to say. I enjoyed every lesson with that group, even when they were like a unbridled power. I did my best to give each of them attention equally conducting the lesson at the same time. Meeting after meeting, I've got the feeling that I'm getting better at my job with them and they've made progress.

On one of the first days of December my superior came to me and informed me that on our next classes we'll have a new student (there is maximum six in a group so I would have a complete now). She said his name is, let's call him, "A" and he was in a younger group so far with less advanced level. His mom and A himself asked with much hope if he can be moved to a higher group. Mine was just perfect, with one free spot. Of course I agreed and curiously waited for our first meeting.

The lesson begun, I found out that A is a friend of one of my students as they talked loudly before the lesson and sat next to each other. I introduced myself to A, then I asked A to introduce himself to the group, so he did. It was going well. A sometimes mentioned that now he is in higher level because he wants to learn. After few times it annoyed me and I told A that it's great he wants to learn, so he can repeat the vocabulary with us. On our next lesson A and his friend laughed a lot, they laughed so hard they ever cried. I couldn't get my head around them nor find any way to calm them down. The lesson didn't went the way i planned it at all. Time after time it was only worst. When I asked A to do anything he would ignore me completely. It was very frustrating.

I decided to tell my superior about the situation because I felt sorry and angry that I no longer can teach the other kids like I did before. She accepted my story and told me to try again next time and if nothing changes to come to her again and she'll ask his mother to come to have the conversation about her son's behavior.

As you can imagine, nothing changed. That led us to last Wednesday when the three of us settled to meet after the lesson. From the very start A was like a changed child. He didn't talk to his friend, he did was I asked the group to do, he did the excercises first. It amazed me, I couldn't believe it was the same A.

After this long introduction my story get's to its essence. We sat in the office, I introduced myself and shook the mother's hand. We sat down. My superior started the conversation with brief description of the situation and asked me to give more details. So I did, including the fact that today nothing from what I say happened and I'm confused why. It all was clear when the mum informed us after she got the message with a request to meet and talk about her son behavior she knew there was something going on. She already spoke to A, told him she's sorry he disturb the whole group and the teacher. We spoke for few more minutes and settled to keep each other informed how things are going on.

What amazed me was the mothers attitude. She told us "I know my son, I know how he can be. I'm sorry for the situation, I hope he'll be better, I'll do my best talking to him". That was all I needed to her. No "you are the teacher, you should be able to control the group" or "my boy? no way, this must be a misunderstanding!". Probably I was quite lucky to have a conversation with this kind of parent but still now I know not all the parent are unbearable and worst to work with. Some can actually be openminded and accept the problem. The key to a succes is cooperation from all sides.